If you had asked me me as a child who my favorite person or idol was? the answer would have been my Dad! Super smart with a masters in engineering, Handsome and to top it off funny. His favorite past time was pranks, or instigating silly behavior.
So you can only imagine the devastation of losing him to cancer at 17 yrs old. He was a mere 43 (Fritz Lamothe 8/27/45-11/12/88) I was the oldest of 4 with my Mom only being 39. Fast forward to years later at 21 when I found some happiness with my now husband. I was 22 when we were married but I opted for a destination ceremony of only the 2 of us. Every time I thought of walking down the aisle at a church gathered with my family without my Dad, I burst into tears. My mom threw a beautiful reception when we returned and it was a nice celebration for the families to meet. Fast forward again at 23 I found out I was pregnant. I was bursting with excitement until an ultrasound visit at 6 months came back with a complicated heart defect. The doctors told us we could terminate the pregnancy but we both would not hear of it and wanted to give him a chance. I had already been reading and singing to him every day. I carried baby Gilbert to full term and immediately after birth he was transported to Children's Hospital for heart surgery. He did not survive.(Gilbert Simmons II 1/25-1/27/95) The pain was unbearable and my mom was able to contact my father's grave site and they reopened his grave to have them buried together. I really was numb for a long time. Many people told me to try again for a baby but I was too terrified.I was now high risk and wasn't sure if I would be able to have kids let alone a healthy baby. Gil had an older daughter Nicole and I felt blessed to have her in our lives. After 3 yrs. we decided it was time to try again. With each pregnancy I was high risk with constant tests and visits to Jefferson in Philly. We had my sons Michael, then 2yrs later Justin, I felt so blessed and grateful. Then 4yrs later my daughter Noelle was born once again at Jefferson in center city. We were elated, until hours later I went to nurse her and something was terribly wrong. I called the nurse and she had a battery of tests. she was then airlifted to Dupont to be tested on specific equipment only they had. I literally fell into a black hole of fear. I prayed and prayed to not let me lose her, I knew I would not survive. Miraculously they discovered what was wrong and these amazing doctors at Jefferson NICU saved her life. She spent 2 weeks there before coming home. She had healed completely by the Grace of God! I wake every morning so grateful for my family while still always carrying a heavy heart for those I lost. You can only imagine how overprotective I was and still am today. I try to be positive and feel thankful for every daily blessing no matter how small. Today in social media there are many bullies and haters. They're miserable people who don't like to see others happy. There really is no place for that as you never know someone's journey. I have always been the type to be happy for others even while going through my pain. I still have many struggles especially through holidays or visits to grave site where it literally takes me 24 hrs to recover. I willfully force myself back to the positive light. I am strong in my faith and pray daily. To those who harbor negativity, it is simple to just unfollow or unlike, but there is no need to say hurtful things. I am finding the more I can do to help others the more positive and determined I get. Besides co-ownership of Photography Business and owner of expanded Marketing plus Business/Talent Management : I am a Brand Ambassador for Love Humanity, The Charity Director for Home Makeovers to special needs families, and have a FB Talent Network promoting & supporting local artists. Contact me if you'd like info on any those ventures. Life is too short, let us enjoy every day we have. Spread Love not Hate! #livingwithapurpose